![]() ![]() I don’t remember a whole lot about this one but Carlos (who is now an expert masseur due to his blindness) is accidentally giving an old lady (the great Francis Conroy) orgasms during his massages and she wants to bring him to Europe to travel with her. All well and good for a season finale (only one death, two if you count the original-Dylan in the past), but two minutes before the end of the episode the timeline jumps forward FIVE YEARS, Gabby has two kids, Susan is maybe married (?), Andrew is wearing a suit and working for Bree, the Scavo kids are teenagers and getting arrested. Katherine, left alone with Wayne and a gun, elects to kill Wayne, and the neighbors provide a self-defense alibi. He’s about to kill her but Adam shows up, plowing though a wedding in the stolen car, and disarms him. She reveals the truth about their daughter when he threatens to kneecap Bree. This show loves a good hostage situation. Wayne is holding Katherine at gunpoint when he is surprised by the girl who everyone thought was a hooker but turned out to be a tattoo artist and shoots her.īree (who spent the episode trying to get an ice sculpture to a party) shows up looking for Katherine and gets taken hostage. ![]() After some light torture, Wayne goes after Katherine leaving Adam tied up, but he escapes and steals a car to get back to his family. (Their daughter was killed as a child by a falling bookshelf, buried in the woods and secretly replaced by an adopted child from Romania!) The cops won’t help because Wayne is one of them. Karen’s house is completely destroyed.Īdam (Katherine’s second ex-husband) is kidnapped by Wayne (her first ex-husband) in his quest to track down his daughter. Carlos is struck by debris as well and is blind for the rest of the show. Vincent tries to shoot Carlos but is impaled by a flying piece of fence and killed. ![]() Carlos is fighting with Vincent over his affair with Gabby (his ex-wife). Most places this wouldn’t be a huge issue but Karen McClusky has been hiding her dead husband’s corpse in her freezer for years.Ī tornado strikes the lane. There is a power outage on Wisteria lane. A stock boy and the stripper/mother both get shot and I think the nephew or another guy throws a can of soup at her and some random lady gets the gun and shoots the angry wife. Susan tries to exchange herself for Julie as a hostage. (DISCLAIMER not only are there spoilers ahead in spades, but I also haven’t watched the show in two years so I might get some of the spoilers wrong.)Ī lady (Laurie Metcalf) takes a bunch of people hostage in a grocery store because her husband (the manager) was cheating on her, plus I think the other woman was already dead? Anyways she has a gun, Lynette is stuck in there with that crazy stripper that Tom had a secret child with, Julie and Edie’s cool bad seed nephew are in there as well. There’s also a riot when someone tries to open a halfway house, a murderous stalking pharmacist, the African American family who moves in during season two and keeps one of their kids chained up in the basement, and I didn’t even touch on the first season murder mystery, but these are some of my favorites… There are just so many more threads one could follow down here-Kyle MacLachlan’s off-the-wall portrayal of Orson Hodge could fill a book. And look, I love a well-paced, thought-provoking drama as much as the next guy (trust me, I’ve seen them all), but there is something to be said for a show that PILES it on like Desperate Housewives. An early brainstorming session with my bandmates in Warm Climate (a band of confirmed DH fans) found us recalling endless plot points, dead characters, highly unlikely disasters (yes there are DISASTERS)… things happen FAST on this show. If you are like this as well (I imagine that if you read lists like this by someone as unqualified as myself, you just might be), Desperate Housewives might just be the next three months of your life. And when it comes down to it music is pretty much my only hobby, unless you count TV. Artists are supposed to be well-rounded people and, yeah, I read, I like good food, I have pets and a job and a normal life, but writing about those things always feels like bragging or is just boring. I watched all 125 episodes of Monk before I decided I didn’t really like it that much. I think I read the whole thing in a month. Ron Hubbard, naturally)-10 volumes of relatively boring, light sci-fi totaling in at nearly 4000 pages. ![]() When I was 12, my father gave me the weird gift of the complete Mission Earth book series (by L. I’m a total and complete sucker for serialization. ![]()
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